Have you ever attended a music concert where there is no conductor to lead and guide the musicians? A scene where everyone just plays any piece at any time they want. The result would be chaotic to say the least. How about an army that is without a commander? Another situation where every soldier does what he wants to do in the battlefield.? It wouldn’t be hard to see that the outcome would be disastrous. In almost every institution, there must be some form of leadership to guide and provide direction for those who follow.
Similarly, within the institution of marriage, God has granted the role of leadership to the husband. He is to lovingly lead and guide his wife and children within the home. In Ephesians 5:25-33, God’s command for husbands is to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. Within this simple and yet profound command, God stated His expectations of the husband, gave him a perfect example in Christ of how he should love his wife and at the same time leave it open to his imagination, creativity and understanding how his wife should be loved.
The ultimate height of love was when Christ laid down His life for His church. That is also the ultimate sacrificial love that God expects every husband to strive after. What an amazing comparison God gave in Christ concerning marriage relationship! There is no end or limit to Christ’s love for His church. As a result, there should be no end to a husband’s love for His wife as they both strive to grow closer to God and to each other. Husband, do you love your wife so much that you would be willing to lay down your own life for her? I am sure that there are many husbands out there who would not even spare a second thought of laying down their lives for their wives. What about your day-to-day interactions, where your wife knows you deeply love and care for her?
To the wife, do you know that God also has specific command for you? In
Ephesians 5:22-24, God specifically said:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
God expects wives to respectfully submit themselves under the leadership of their husbands as unto the Lord. So, when wives obey this commandment, the Lord is honored and glorified. It does not mean that a wife needs to cower in fear in front of her husband nor does it mean that she cannot speak up. She also has liberty in Christ to give counsel and speak her mind. However, within the home, there cannot be two heads. There must only be one leader of the home and God has already appointed that role to the husband.
In today’s society, many women have been fed the lie that women can do anything men can and that they do not need to submit to their husbands’ God-given authority. As a result, some marriages have been destroyed or on the verge of falling apart. When husbands faithfully obey God’s command to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her, it makes it easier for the wives to submit to their loving leadership. On the other hand, when the wives respectfully submit themselves to their husbands’ leadership, it makes it easier for the husbands to show loving care to their wives.
In the end, the highest authority in the home should be the Lord. Both husband and wife need to submit themselves to God’s ultimate authority and obey His specific command in regards to their specific roles in the family. This is to be obeyed regardless of whether the husband being loving or not or the wife being submissive or not. In all things, let the Lord be glorified and He will bless your obedience unto Him.